How many times have we consoled ourselves thinking that time cures everything? Sometimes we abandon ourselves to our own luck thinking that at some point everything will change and things will get better. It is even one of the phrases we use most when we try to comfort someone if we see that their problem is difficult to fix, or directly does not have it, that is why we let loose a “do not worry, that eventually …”

What psychologists tell us

They say that everything is relative, because they say that there are two types of wounds: those caused by ourselves and those that appear without more. The difference is, according to studies, that when the discomfort we feel is something we have done wrong, the initial pain will be stronger because we know it has been our fault so that remorse and the charge of conscience are going to eat inside for a while. However, being something that we have given ourselves is likely that we can also put a solution to it, trying to correct our mistakes. At least the simple fact of doing everything that is in our hands to fix that that has made us feel this discomfort, gives us a certain tranquility and ends up causing the pain to come back little by little.

On the other hand, when it is something that was not in our hands and has happened, the ordeal will last longer because it is something that we have not been able to avoid nor will we be able to fix, so the impotence will also make an appearance, making the pain the more we think about it, the stronger it is. In this case the psychologists point to circumstances such as dreams that were never fulfilled, lost opportunities and of course the loss of family and friends.

And what does logic tell us?

On the other hand if we think coldly, humans are designed to feel pain, joy, sadness … So our own brain ends forgetting experiences that long ago. Rare is a regret that lasts for a lifetime, in the end you end up not forgetting it at least assuming it, especially if it has no solution because it is useless to spin around eternally something that hurts us.

The brain acts in these cases trying to hide these bad tricks, so we can continue with our lives without having to go crying in the corners.

It also depends on you

While it is true that the pain will subside at some point, you can always try to accelerate the process. You must not shield yourself, isolating yourself and hiding from your relatives. We are social beings and as such we are always willing to give help when someone we want needs it. It does not help to shut up and suffer inside, lean on those around you and express what you feel without feeling ashamed. We are sure that this will speed up the healing process or at least make it more bearable.

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